LUCIAFER

Honestly, I think that New York Mag should seek me out to write my own New York Diet. There can’t be anyone in the world who spends more time eating out and doing nothing else but me. I’ve been back in New York a little over two weeks and I hate to say I have gotten less than five pages of writing done. I have gone out to eat about a million times, though.

I started off being back by going to Anfora and Dell’Anima, obviously, and had my favorite bone marrow and a hanger steak and the most amazing plate of ramps with a fried egg on top. The next night I went to the Breslin, which also has an amazing ramp dish, served on toast, and I got to have the lamb burger I love so much as well as their scotch egg. I finally tried Acme, where I had the bouillabaisse and chicken and eggs dish as well as a few appetizers. The service at Acme was atrociously bad - they sent us out two different appetizers that we hadn’t ordered and then charged us for one of them. I did think the food was good, not exceptional though. I’ve of course eaten at Brooklyn Star, because where else can you get that jalapeno bacon cornbread and amazing mac and cheese? I had dinner with my friend at Brindle Room in the East Village and had an amazing kale Caesar salad and a huge bowl of spaghetti and meatballs along with a mason jar of red wine. Ever since going to Belize, I feel more focused on integrating vegetables into my diet, hence the kale salad, but it was drenched in dressing and garnished with chunks of cheese so I wouldn’t exactly call it “healthy.” I saw Place Beyond the Pines at Nitehawk with a few people and had tater tots and a cheeseburger, both delicious - more people should really know about Nitehawk. I went to a crawfish boil at my friend’s wine shop and ended with Manhattans at B Flat in Tribeca. I had a late lunch at the Smith with my friend who was in from Philly, where we had their overpriced and oversized mimosas and I had a BLT with a fried egg on top on multigrain bread, delicious. I’ve loved The Smith ever since it opened, when I used to live next door at my freshman dorm at NYU. My old roommate and I used to believe we had “discovered” it. It’s really consistent, straightforward food and friendly, competent service. I stopped into Minetta late night and we got bone marrow, oysters, and Black Label burgers. For straightforward bone marrow, I think Minetta has the best in the city. It’s a close tie with Blue Ribbon though. I had lunch at Marumi near the NYU library, a really great Japanese restaurant. I had five dollar margaritas and fish tacos at some random Mexican place in Hell’s Kitchen with my friend Deanna so she would be close to her bus from Port Authority. I had a huge meal in Korea Town with a watermelon full of soju that ended with late-night bone marrow at Dell’Anima and an atrocious hangover the next day. I spent all day at a Kentucky Derby party drinking mint juleps on an empty stomach before running out after the races to gorge on sushi with my best friend and her boyfriend, go home to nap, and then go out again after midnight. I finally made it to Smorgasburg last Saturday, which is one of my favorite things ever about New York, and had hash browns served with a poached egg, bacon and caramelized onions from Hash Bar, chicken wings from a place I can’t remember the name of, phatty beet sliders and potato salad from my friend Danielle’s vegan food stand Chickpea & Olive, and a delicious chicken schnitzel sandwich. We had Mother’s Day dinner at Salinas in Chelsea, where we had the best razor clams I’ve ever had and a generous serving of paella that I took home and ate the next day. I had brunch at Pastis with my friend from Paris, ironically, because the Standard was too packed and we wanted to walk the High Line. I’ve eaten twice at Kuma Inn in the Lower East Side, once for their arroz valenciana with seafood, pork, and chicken, and once for their mussels and edamame. The real tragedy of my two and a half weeks back is that I have not yet made it into Pho Grand. 

Or that I seem to not understand the definition of the word gluttony.